Recovering...

I don't need someone now. I need to rediscover and love myself more than ever. I need time and space to spend and cherish happy moments with my friends and my family. That way I'll grow and forget the pain of the past and remember the good memories that made me a better person.

Five simple rules to be happy

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Many Fish in the Sea

In the past few weeks, in response to the my attitude towards my recently concluded relationship, my friends have been telling me to snap out of it as there are "may fish in the ocean". Again, it's all a matter of perspective. There may be many fish in the ocean but once you get the catch of the day, you shouldn't let go of it. There's a possibility of reeling in something bigger or better, but there's no assurance on that. There's a chance of hooking up something bigger but your line can't suppport the catch, cutting off the line and damaging the reel permanently. It's a matter of being happy and content with what you have.

In the end of relationships, oftentimes we hear our friends tell us that cliche. I'd agree to the reality that definitely, there are things better out there in the vast ocean. Something I've learned in the past. Relationships don't work because of that mentality. Instead of being content with what you have, people always strive for someone better. Instead of resolving conflicts, the tendency is for other people to easily give up and seek someone else. Someone better. A natural tendency perhaps. People oftentimes oversee that they already have the perfect catch -- the best catch they could possibly have in their lifetime. And upon realization that they've let go of it, regret sinks in. Despair and frustration as result of that abrupt decision. Frustrated and hoping that our line hooks the same fish again.

Perspective wise, we may be the fisherman, or we may be the fish.

Things to do this 2012 (part 1)

1. Start serious blogging. I will create new blogs to reclaim the composition skills that I have had way back before. My writing skills have become quite stagnant for some time now. vocabulary and grammar techniques have deteriorated over time. I will have to rebuild my reputation on philosophical takes on current trends and humor in the Philippine society. LOLz. Applied philosophy and sociology once again in a non-academic approach.

2. Learn how to sing. I love singing but the microphone and songs don’t love me back. This translates to more videoke sessions and perhaps hiring a professional vocal coach. I’ve had enough being off tune. I have to sound better than screeching cats.

3. Improve on my piano playing and song arrangement skills. Gotta have my keyboards fixed as soon as possible.

4. Start diving. PADI beware.

5. Visit the places that I’ve been dying to visit. Obviously, beaches - Maldives, Amanpulo, Carribean, Alaska, South America. I need to figure out how to earn enough dough to visit these places.

6. Indulge myself in photography. I know I’m a lot better than those aspiring self-acclaimed photographers out there. This is the year for me to get back in the scene. I totally gave up photography in 2011. Will splurge on equipments again this year. Will focus on landscape and underwater photography this time

7. Quit smoking. Simply put. I was able to successfully quit drinking in 2011. I have to have the inner strength to overcome smoking this year.

8. Gain weight and tone my body. Having 6-pack abs isn’t enough. I need to gain weight. more mass. i want to be beyond toned. Welcome me back with open arms once again Gold’s gym. We’ll see each other more frequent this time.

9. Read. read. Read. Enough with the classics. I will try another literary genre. Enough with online games. time to immerse myself in literature this year.

10. Participate in social work. I want to do my part in social responsibility. I have to figure out a way to contribute without risking my fragile health.

11. Change my image. I’m planning to dispose of my whole wardrobe and totally change my style for this year. Let’s see. I have tons of new friends in the fashion industry to help me out on this matter. I want to project a fun, laid-back yuppie image. I’m also planning of changing my hairstyle this year.

12. Pamper myself. More spa. spa. spa. spa. I’ve been stressed most of 2011 in all aspects of life. It’s time to recover from all these things. I’ve gotta pamper myself! yeah boi!

13. Start my business. It’s been in the drawing board in the past few years but haven’t gotten a chance to actually put it into work. Gotta make wise investments and get that money moving to sustain the things that I wanna do in 2012.

14. Learn a new sport. Not that I’m tired of swimming, bowling, soccer, and table tennis. I’ve gotta develop physical endurance. Thinking of biking.

That’s it for now. Sandman’s knocking at my door. Goodnight world and happy new year.

Med School

Recently I've been thinking of pursuing a career in Medicine. Not because I want to follow my dad's footsteps and continue his legacy but there's something inside me telling me that partially, I want to be a doctor and that this profession would satisfy my sense of fullfillment. Funny that this thought came from someone with Haemophobia who has this tendency to pass out with a slightest sight of blood. Haha. Well, I have to overcome this fear really really soon.

Why now when I'm very happy and stable with my current job and businesses? Even I am still asking myself that question. Time has been wasted. I should have taken a pre-med undergrad course and directly attended med school after that. Yet, I took MIS. I have a wide array of interests - from music, photography, travel, computers, etc. That even with these simple hobbies or interests, I don't know which I should prioritize. Literally I'm in the point of uncertainty in my life. I'm praying that god would help me pinpoint what I really want and what would suit me best as a human person. (yuck. epekto ng ADMU philo and theo)

Am I willing to trade my current lifestyle now (Gimiks, Travel, Splurging, etc.) with upcoming years of being a bookworm secluded from the rest of the world with uncertain income? If there's a purpose, why not. With the fact that life is too short, I might as well enjoy my current bachelor life. However, with a purpose, the latter one would later on define my happiness. As what they say, "No pain, no gain".

Still with being undecided, what I'm going to do is to take the NMAT this December with or without any preparations (Gad! Physics, Chem, Biology, Zoology and Math again!). If I get at least 80% in the exam, I'll push through with med school. Otherwise, this would mean that what I have now is the right field for me. If I get at least 92%, that's UP Intramed for me (Ambisyosong frog). lolz. Will have pray for this for the upcoming months.

Maybe this is just a momentary thought that after a few weeks, this want would eventually wane. Let's see about that as even now, I'm still very indecisive about everything.

Paulo's Sermon

Katakot-takot na sermon from Paulo last Saturday night. Buti I was able to absorb some of what points he reiterated before I lost my sanity that humiliating night.

1. Three most important factors in a relationship: Love, Trust and Respect.
- Love is not enough to make a relationship work. It’ll always be there no matter how painful things are.
- Trust is one of the most precious gift you can possibly give to a person. But once broken, it’s hard to regain.
- Respect is very vital. People usually set limits to their actions to give respect to the person s/he loves.

We can sustain a relationship with the following permutations of the aforementioned factors, otherwise, it’s merely lokohan:
Love + Trust + Respect (ideal)
Love + Trust (lagi nagaaway)
Love + Respect (praning)
Trust + Respect (hindi kaya iwanan; it’s easy to rekindle love)

2. Try putting the pieces of the puzzle together
Signs are everywhere and it’ll depend on us to recognize these and link all the connections to come up with a revelation - Answers to the questions that we are all too afraid to ask or worst fears realized.

3. Stop rationalizing things
We usually rationalize stuff - Thinking of all the possibilities, justifying this justifying that; thinking that this should have been this or could have been that. We have to wait for things to unfold. We should never rationalize what a person says or does based on presumptions. Things will only hurt more this way.

4. 3 possibilities
- “This time it’ll be sweeter”
- friendship
- forgive and forget

5. Time will reveal everything. Truth will eventually unfold. That’s why we need time to evaluate all the possible things that could have resulted to the break-up and then do something about it.

6. To salvage or not?
It’s a personal choice. but it depends on who broke up with whom. If the person who broke up doesn’t want to fix things anymore, all efforts for reconciliation will just be thwarted.

Dahil sa lack of sleep and walang gana kumain, several bottles of Red Horse did the trick. The rest is history. lol.

Thanks Pao for your understanding, support, and all that patience!

Falling out of love...

What should you do if you think you are falling out of love with your partner?
Find ways to fall in love again with the same person over and over again. It's a cycle. There will come a point in a relationship that you'll get tired of everything. You'll realize that you're starting to lose your feelings towards your partner. With this realization, others tend to seek each other's shortcomings from other people. From thereon, everything would start to fall apart.

Tandaan natin... LOVE is not enough to make a relationship work. You have to fight for it and work for it.


How do you forget the person you once truly loved?
You just can't. Unless you never really loved the person. Hindi mawawala feelings mo towards that person... mababawasan, but it'll never totally fade out...

Hahaha. ala Dr. Love ba?!?