Rico...

"Ang love parang Rico... Minsan Blanco, minsan Puno. At minsan, hindi mo lang alam, Yan na pala..."

Corporate Policies

What if your office issues new corporate policies such as these? Insane indeed! For the win! Click on the image above to view the whole image. 

Lovers In Pares

Last night, my partner and I were discussing over phone on our plans for our monthsary meet up.

Ryan: San tayo sa Wednesday?
Burrby: Ikaw...
Ryan: Hmm. sa pares na lang.
Burrby: ...
Ryan: Alam mo kung bakit?
Burrby: Bakit?
Ryan: Para masabing "Lovers in Pares" tayo.
Burrby: *uncontrollable laughter*


Corny to the nth level. One of those spontaneous hirits from yours truly. But in fairness, bumenta sa kanya.

Photo credit to djbrixx.

Bitter Ocampo

Bitter Ocampo -- A filipino gay linggo referring to sour graping people. Derived from a popular actor's name (Deither Ocampo).

While browsing PinoyExchange.com earlier, I stumbled upon this particular image on discussion thread. A literal visual interpretation of Bitter Ocampo. Diether Ocampo on the body of a bitter melon (Momordica Charantia Linn). ROFLMAO.

Credit goes to the owner of this image.

100 ways to say Fuck You

Funny that one of the first few words that we learn from foreign languages are cuss words aside from the usual "Hello", "Good Morning", "Good Evening", and  "I Love You". I stumbled upon this particular image while I was blog hopping. This is the ultimate guide!

But I beg to disagree with the Filipino translation. It should not equate to Putang Ina. Son of a Bitch may be a more appropriate english translation for Putang Ina. But the heck! I’m fine with it. It sounds better than Kantutin Kita and it sounds more "malutong" .

It's kinda weird that Putang Ina is highlighted compared to the other translations. Perhaps it's widely used across the globe as Filipinos are in the every corner of this planet.

'teh, what's the name of your dodo?

I received a forwarded joke from Cody last night while Shi, Nelz and I were having our after dinner smoke. It's entitled "Breast Related Names" and it became an instant hit to us. The conversation then evolved to something even wilder. haha. Before I start digressing again, listed below are the names included in the message. Shi suggested the title I used for this blog entry.

Breast Related Names

Suzette - Susong maliit

Suzy - Susong perky (i've just added this to the list)

Susan - Susong hanggan tiyan (my ultimate favorite. haha. right image.)

Suzanne - Suso na saan? *new (contributed by Aekaye)

Dolor - Dodo hanggan floor

Jobel - Joga hanggang bilbil

Deborah - Dedeng walang brah

Ulah - Utong lang pala

So 'teh, what's the name of your dodo?

Shoplifter Lola at mga naglalandiang pusa

It's my daily routine to drop by at 711 GMA branch to get my daily supplement of nicotine and Gatorade Propel. I thought it's just an ordinary day but no... There's this one shoplifter lola who made a scene.

As I was lining up to pay for my goods, I saw her arranging the stuff in her bag in front of the ice cream fridge. I told myself, 'mukang hindi pa naman magbabayad to' so I went ahead sa line. After 10 or 20 seconds, biglang sumingit sya and padabog na nilapag yung 2 selecta cookies and cream drumsticks on the counter in front of me.

Nanginit ang ulo ko. Kumulo ang dugo ko. I told to myself again. 'epal to ah! nakita na ngang nakapila ako tapos sisingit!' Syempre I sneered at her (being myself hahaha!)

After a few more seconds, the store manager came out of nowhere shouting (syempre nagulat nanaman ako!) 'Kitang-kita naman na nagshoplift kayo eh. Nasa loob na nga ng bag nyo yung dalawang ice cream. Sa iba na lang kayo!

'Syempre tinginan lahat ng tao kay lola. Walk out mode. Nakalabas na ng pinto. pero pumasok ulit. She forgot her umbrella pala. then walkout ulit na nagmamadali.

WTF? Magshoshoplift ng ice-cream sa bag?!?! lol! She completed my day.

Well, ganun na ba talaga kahirap ang buhay ngayon that people will shoplift some pampalamig? Or is she just a kleptomaniac. She doesn't look a vagrant to me actually.

After the scene, I went to the Gazebo to light up a smoke. Natuwa ako ako sa nakita ko - Live show! dalawang MEOW na naglalandian towards the act. I prepared my cellphone and took some pictures. I love the one na parang magkasiping sila =)

Lalong sumaya ang araw ko ^_^

Nako ayan na pow sila!

So Sweet! gumuggulong-gulong.

Umakyat na ko bago magstart yung live show. =(

Pineapple and Bavarian

While in line at Donuts Gonuts, almost napa-tumbling ako sa narinig ko:

Nanay: Miss, anong flavor nito? (pointing at the confectioner sugar coated doughnut)

Store Manager: Uses the tong to inspect the doughnut. Bavarian po Ma'am

Nanay: Ahhh. Hawaiian. Eh yung isa miss? (pointing at another tray)

Store Manager: Bavarian din po.

Nanay: (to herself but loud enough for me to hear) Ah. hawaiian din.

Syempre si Ryan natatawa na. Akala tapos na yung story pero may mas malupit pa palang punch line!!!

Nanay: (After checking the other doughnuts said to herself again) Pineapple yung laman n'eto eh.

Pinigil ko nang tumawa at baka mahalata ako.

Can't get over sobra.

Hahaha

Another Korean Experience

After having lunch yesterday at Pizza Hut Bistro, I had a haircut at Tony and Jackey (since it's just one kembot away). Here's my discourse with Shine (the korean hairstylist) and her assisstant:

After washing my hair

Shine: Woh heh Cah? (What hair cut)

Ryan: Give me a short haircut that's kinda manageable. Low maintenance, easy to style and flexible.

Shine: Woh? (What)

Ryan: Repeats the instruction again.

Shine: Woh? (What) Calls her assisstant and murmurs something..

Assisstant: Ano daw?

Ryan: Repeats the instruction again.

Assistant: (to Shine) Short haircut (WTF! kasasabi ko nga lang na short!)

Shine: Woh? (hindi talaga makaintindi ang gaga... Whisper something again to her assisstant and then she got back to me) Ho sho? (how short)

Assisstant draws an album and told me to select a hairstyle.

Ryan: (to myself) I don't wanna look like one of 'em. Besides, I know hindi bagay sa akin ganung haircut...

After browsing through the pictures, I really couldn't decide what style to get...

Ryan: Repeats the instruction again. But this time, I uttered my words slowly and clearly... 'Iiiiii waaaannnntttt aaaaaa ssssshhhhhooooorrrrrtttt...... (so on and so forth)

Other customers around me are kinda smirking na... hahaha

Shine: Woh? (What?)

Ryan: (Gives up) It's ur call. Give me a new look that would look good on me. Your call!

Shine: (to her assisstant) Woh? (What?)

Assisstant: (Speaks very slowly with sarcasm) It's up to you...

Shine: oke! (ok!)

Hence, the haircut began. She gave be haircut with bangs! Tangina! bangs kung bangs!!! Later on to find out that the style is very flexible. I can do tons of styles with it. And my friends like it naman. hahahaha... Neway, masasabi ko lang, mas magaling pa sila mag-tagalog kesa mag-english... i'll ask our korean neighbor to translate my instructions to korean para when I go back there, magkakaintindihan na kami (wag lang nya ako sagutin ulit ng korean) hehehe

Beef or Pork?

At Steak Plus Timog at around 2:45am this morning. Sumakit ang ulo ko kay manong waiter while placing our order…

Ryan: Dude, yung bang Callos Allejandro, beef or pork? (I don’t eat pork kasi)

Manong Waiter: Oo

Ryan: Ha? So ano nga yun? Beef or pork?

Manong Waiter: Baka.

WTF!?!? Ang labo kausap. haha.

I ended up eating Puttanesca instead. I think he misheard me naman. Sabiko kasi "Pu*****a!" then bigla syang umalis. After a few minutes, hecame back with Puttanesca. *chos!